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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has long been the comfort zone of your Daily, and writers stay alert of notable bog-related stories and key events, particularly within football. What a delight it was to find out that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Reflect for a moment regarding the Barnsley supporter who took the rest room somewhat too seriously, and had to be saved from a deserted Oakwell post-napping in the lavatory during halftime of a 2015 loss against Fleetwood Town. “He was barefoot and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And who can forget at the pinnacle of his career with Manchester City, the Italian striker popped into a local college for toilet purposes back in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then entered and inquired directions to the restrooms, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled through the school like he owned the place.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday represents 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as England manager post a quick discussion inside a lavatory booth with FA director David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback against Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the historic stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his confidential FA records, he had entered the sodden struggling national team changing area directly following the fixture, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the director to convince Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to save the circumstance.

“Where on earth could we find for a private conversation?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with an England manager as players dived into the water. Just a single choice remained. The restroom stalls. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history happened in the old toilets of a venue scheduled for destruction. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I shut the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, subsequently confessing he considered his tenure as national coach “empty”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It’s a very difficult job.” The English game has progressed significantly during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Real-Time Coverage

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“We stood there in a lengthy line, in just our underwear. We were the continent's finest referees, premier athletes, inspirations, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with great integrity … but no one said anything. We scarcely made eye contact, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina inspected us completely with a chilly look. Quiet and watchful” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to take care of the first team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and awarded some merch, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This masochistic tendency must account for his decision to join Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|